The guilt of leaving aging parents behind
I left. They stayed.
You pack your bags.
Your dreams.
Your ambitions.
Your 22-year-old optimism.
You hug them goodbye, tight, but casual.
"I’ll visit soon," you promise.
"It’s just a few years."
You board the flight.
You chase opportunity.
And time... it doesn’t wait.
When you video call, you notice the small things first.
A little more grey in your father's hair.
A little more tiredness in your mother’s voice.
A little more distance between the you-that-left and the you-that’s-here.
Nobody warns you about the guilt.
How heavy it feels.
How it sneaks up on birthdays, anniversaries, Diwali, Christmas, and random Tuesday nights.
How you laugh at their jokes on FaceTime,
but mute yourself to cry afterwards.
You left to build a better life.
But sometimes it feels like you abandoned the ones who built you.
It’s an ugly guilt.
It’s a silent shame.
And still, you stay.
You grind.
You hope that one day your success will be worth the space your absence left behind.
Guilt is the tax you pay for love.
It hurts because it matters.
You didn’t leave because you didn’t care.
You left because you do care.
And one day, when you bring home all that you built,
This long, lonely investment of love will come full circle.
Until then,
forgive yourself.
Love them louder.
Show up however you can.
You didn’t leave them behind.
You’re just building the road home.
- Akshet Patel